Notes from Dhaka

This is a ramble in the middle of Dhaka, Bangladesh
Stuck in a room of judges
... we're waiting
... often waiting for the next thing
... the whole country seems to be waiting
... I'm getting used to the waiting
... how much more they
... for elections
... for food
... for the next day
.... for better or for worse
It's interesting to be here stuck inside more often than not.
... we don't go out much
... unless we're in single file line
... 大家一起春游，小学生
... it's for our own protection
... from the uncomfortable and the poor
... corruption free Bangladesh
... rich in culture and history
... so much you'd never be able to understand it in these hours, minutes, days
... not unless you
... stayed ... with... us...
... how many are willing to stay?
... So your going to leave behind your Chinese students to teach here?
leave behind ... what?
I've stood outside for maybe an hour at most
I'm getting cabin fever here... these [sic] days
Culturally displaces...
Maybe the only Chinese American in the country
certainly the only one amongst the dozen
Asian nations represented here.
Let me out
So I can breathe that dirty air
just a little bit
... it can't be as bad for me as they think
... I wanna get my heart closer to my head... one step closer
... I wanna give it away
... give it away
... give it
... away
Get your camer stolen
get your chocolate stolen
Get your heart lost
and figure it out all over again.
...
zzzzZZZZ
but figure it out when you're rested
when you've eaten
regularly
Are you afraid of losing yourself?
If you bit loose too much...
will you be labeled that outsider
feeling lonely in your own country... home
maybe you don't fit where you are anyway
... than where?

.. .

It's nice to be admired...
-as a capable teacher
-as a quick learning judge
-as a cultural novelty
-as a fun and sociable guy
-as a token Westerner (sort of)
-as a cute face
-etc, etc, etc
but as time passes
as the music plays
the beat pulses
hips swaying
hands waving
lights flashing
smoke swirling
...it hits you
...I want those words
words
words
WORD
lyrics
to baptize
the beats
the melody
and bring me
Back...


to what?
Something Real...
Like the streets... like home
I don't know where I am going
But here I am, North-South,
University, Dhaka, Bangladesh
This is real too...
Check back in.
feel it
get
outside.

.. .

I'm getting used to the heat.
It seems I can often get used to most things
At heart, I'm passive
I try and understand
and if I can...
it's okay
If I can't
I try and make it that way.
I'm a peacemaker at hear,
but the absence of conflit is not peace
what's a better word?
平安
Shalom
Is that what I bring?
that's what i want to bring.

Policy and Principle at the Podium
Logic, rhyme, and reason on display
to sharpen young minds
break the status quo
raise up new leaders,
for what?

Outside the leaders of tomorrow riot
chaos amongst the elite
despair amongst the streets
and problems, problems, problems
for what?

One life worth a hundred more?
Democracy worth the Storm?
Sudden rainstorms, in and out of season
cars, rickshaws, clogged pipes, traffic
like our hearts

Debate right, Think right
But can weel feel right?
Feel it?