I was awoken this morning before the baby cried. This is unusual. I had no reason to be up at that hour. I had gone to sleep fairly late. Maybe it was too hot or I felt too dirty. I took a shower.
Sometimes when i wake up suddenly in the early mornings, I get the feeling God woke me up. It feels like a finger poking at my soul, just enough to jolt me out of sleep, but tender enough to keep me from feeling irritated.
So I try and pray, mediate, re-center, re-connect.
I've almost forgotten how… promised so many times to re-learn the spiritual disciplines I had fostered in my younger, more zealous years.
I lay on my futon for an hour, half asleep, half in prayer… mostly prayers of thanksgiving. That spirit of thanks managed to permeate the rest of the day and, somewhere in those prayers and sleepy state of meditation, came the sense of security I so often seem to lack.
While my views of Faith and God continue to reform, do I still have the simple trust of a child?
Lunch with Phil: a man in a position I want to be in in a few years myself. Simplified and focused, intentional and open, building community and seeking justice. A stark contrast to the season of job juggling, theology studying', networking cause that's what your supposed to be doin, church-goin, baby-loving, Bmore-DC commutin, divided mess I'm in now.
But it's a seasonal thing… I am in the present and I relish what is set before me for now. I do believe it is preparing me.
Most of all, my conversation with Phil gave me a rekindled look at the ministry of the Gospel. It seems there are many in my generation grappling with the possibilities of intentional urban communities as Christ communities embodied without any of the dressings of the former institutions so often tied to Christendom and the Market. Perhaps this is the kind of pastor… Christian… I want to be.
Eugene Peterson has a memoir out on his journey as a Pastor contemplating his decades of ministry. Something about the pastors role as the one responsible for observing and facilitating the relationships between God, people, and the world. That's heavy.
You know what else is heavy? Pepperoni Pizza and Hot Dogs… but decided to skip the Ice Cream Bar… good call. Jaimie whats-his-name's Food Revolution would be proud. I'm essentially a vegetarian a little over half the week now.
Henry Kissinger has a new book out "On China" consolidating his decades of diplomacy with the Middle Kingdom. I get his basic framework, but decided to skip it and buy Joshy a book on learning how to read. I think it comes a few years too early though. Josh can't read yet and I may not have the credibility to be the China expert I think I am. Then again, maybe I am.
What I am not, is a businessman. I have no head for thinking in terms of business. My wife does. She's a natural at it. "Shark Tank" was not match for her. If churches are businesses, I cannot be a pastor. I'd run churches into the ground.
Late in the evening discovered the concept of the "multicultural" educator through Paul Gorski of George Mason. EdChange and his Multicultural Pavilion are inspiring digital spaces reflecting everything I want to be in an educator... and dare I say it... a pastor. Also got wind I may be reappointed to teach at AU again the Fall. Teaching is a passion of mine and I am thankful God has given me the opportunity to make a living doing what I love. For now, the classrooms are my parishes and it is where I wil put into practice some of these seemingly random intuitions.
So there is a theme developing here.. .
But the best parts of the day? Kickin' it with my son all day. While it can seem tedious, it is by far the most important use of my time. He smiles and giggles, dances, calls everything a dog, lays around and watches TV, pulls everything out of everything, eats and eats and eats, and is precious, precious, precious.
It was a good day.
I should wake up early to pray more often.
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