婆婆，家在那裡？

4.1.09 (when grandma almost left)
1.14.10 (while grandma is still here)

"Grandma, where is home?" （婆婆，家在那裡？）

i’ve been so many places
been moved so many times
it doesn’t really matter anymore
what matters
is who I have been
to whom have I given
and how I have served
I haven't any jewels or diamonds
what I have to show, is you.

God took my father away
so I was raised a daughter of God
I’ve drank the waters of the long river
rested in it’s peace, fought against it’s rage
as the waves swallowed my earliest love
as Gospel formed my heart
as fortune tellers whispered my future
as children giggled and recited my verses
I gathered each day simply as it was

i’ve marched west in single file
young boys carried my few belongings
climbed mountains along the basin’s edge
the beginnings of my refuge sojourn
as bombs went off in the distance
as daughters and sisters were lost along the trail
while uncertainties crept along each border and turn
strong melodies of opera filled my weariness
bringing mercy, anger, and strength

i’ve wandered the deserts of ancient cities
swam the great oceans along islands of green
until fortune called me across a narrow strait
to a treasure island of heroes and fiends
another new beginning set in calmer times
with each step, the melodies grew stronger, sweeter
I learned to dance with the rhythm, step with the beats
learned to love and to honor, to nurture and raise
under the shade of peach blossoms and papaya trees

a newly woven set of clothes each year
for newly beloved to keep warm and grow strong
to drown out the rumors of terror and security
to make a safe place amongst the tragedies
I tap the keys of a hundred pianos
a thousand hymns with memories hung on every note
praises for the safe journey thus far
prayers for the long road still ahead
hopes for a greater peace over our harbor-factory town

I’ve watched my children dream their dreams
survive nightmares of broken hearts and promises
chase after riches, chase after God
settle oceans away, in beautiful new lands
each home becomes more foreign than the last
I grew numb, deaf, and mute
but there was always new life set before me
a chance to pour a worn life into a fresh one
blessed opportunities to sow new soil, bear new fruit

I've carried you in my arms
the safest place you had ever known
where tears would cease, wonder re-lit in your eyes
Though I carry no deep wisdom, I seek to simply bless with life
I feed you the heads of lions for strength and the choicest pearls for beauty
I ignore the world's routine chaos, anchor my soul in the ones i love
In those fragile and needy, strong and faithful, distant and young
You are all my children, and I am a child of God
and so are you.

I let go, I'm ready to make my final trip
past the pains and failures of my body and mind
when I go, there will be peace in my heart
with joys of father, mother, sisters that history stole from me
again i shall hear beautiful opera with the faint smell of tobacco
and so I ask only peace, peace, peace
upon the ones I have poured myself out on
Though I can no longer remember these days or months
I shall always remember you

I’ve been so many places
been moved so many times
it doesn’t really matter anymore
what matters
is who I have been
to whom have I given
and how I have served
I haven't any jewels or diamonds
what I have to show, is you.