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Sunday, April 24, 2011

That is why I write

"It's simply a little story, but it wrings your heart. What's happening all around you grows easier to understand and to remember, and you learn that the most downtrodden, humblest (peson) is a (person), too, and a brother (or sister)."

-Insulted and the Injured, Dostoyevsky

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

sounds Taoist to me...

In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.

- T.S. Eliot, from his poem "East Coker"

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Inconsiderate

Is there a way to be rude, inconsiderate, and selfish while also harboring a sickeningly low self-esteem?

Yea, I think it is.

How?

First, it involves an overbearing degree of passiveness. It is birthed by an over the top commitment to doing whatever it is the ones you care about want. In is highlighted by a strict lack of boundaries muddled by a lack of clarity for what you really think, feel, or want. Add a dash of stupidity with extra doses of absent mindedness and one is bound to say hurtful things while imagining you couldn't hurt a fly.

I am not innocent.

When all the relational rivers converge upon a narrow path without any means of managing the flow, the potential for drowning is rather high. While drowning, etiquette may no longer be of concern to me. My flailing arms will probably smack you in the face. the water I'm spitting up will probably get in your eye.

And I know... sorry isn't typically enough. Not when it becomes a habit. The pride I take in my words is misplaced. I teach, but I cannot practice. I'm deathly afraid of wasting your time, missing the signs, and losing your love.

Keep in mind the holidays ahead, Hallmark induced or not.

Friday, April 8, 2011

13.5 months

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